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The USD$6k robot came in yesterday, all the way from Colorado, Boulder. But it was missing the remote control and the 'smart' charger. Now that really sucks because the power adapter gave me hell. I had merely plugged the end into the robot and not into the mains, and the entire adapter got really hot. I could smell the sickening plastic.

After running some tests I figured out that the adapter had a short, which meant connecting it to the robot created a short circuit, thus sending high current through the adapter, causing the smell. I dun care much about that adapter, but the prospect that the $6k robot could have been fried by this current surge, is really freaking me out. Thankfully there is a fuse on the robot, but until I see it moving around on the lab floor, I am keeping my finger, toes and eyes crossed. :(

I get really freaked out whenever I have to send out important-sounding emails to professors around Singapore (well the western part, mostly). There's this huge mailing list of extremely brainy people that I have to forward the email to,
and I keep re-reading every word and syllable to make sure I don't end up saying something stupid-sounding. Or make a wrong assumption which my prof will simply overwrite in a later email. Which he loves to do.

Went to Biz canteen at dinner time to meet up with project-mates for a discussion. Reached early and took out the research paper to start to read, which I was supposed to have already finished. Halfway through the extremely poorly-worded paper, I dozed off in the middle of the noisy canteen with poor lighting and which constantly smells of soy sauce. Woke up hoping no one noticed.

My right eyelid is twitching really often these days. And I think I see more white hairs growing out of my diminishing crop. Sighs.

Seems like I've unwittingly gotten a reputation as an alcoholic somehow..ever since I got back from the UK two years ago. I have no idea how that came about - I merely enjoy the occasional, okay maybe weekly, beer to unwind from work. It's quite a contrast to have to constantly resist invitations to go out in the UK, while here in Singapore, drinking buddies are few and far between.

And beer here is insanely expensive. And the local beer stinks. I am really looking forward to Oktoberfest to try out the new beer flavors. And hopefully I can find someone to clink some beer mugs with.

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Sometimes I feel like I was rushed through my childhood and that I didn't have enough time to do things I really wanted to. Adventurous things, silly things..

All I wanted to do was to hold on to whatever time and friends I had, and yet all that seemed to vanish in the blink of an eye. All that 16 years of studying - it got me to where I am today, but did it make me a better person? There's so much I dont understand, or know how to react to. Could life have been a better teacher?

Now I seem to be chasing my lost childhood dreams that I wish I had. I think it's really silly. But I always feel a sense of comfort looking back at my naivete. And I'd wish that time didn't pass so fast.

Your Birthdate: December 24

Marianne Williamson from her book "A Return to Love"

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care

I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
That's coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
Once upon a song

Now I know you're not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I can tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Cause I liked the view
When there was me and you

I can't believe that
I could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was falling
And I didn't mind
Cause I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you

~ from High School Musical

Somehow these lyrics feel so apt sometimes...

Today I played Monopoly for the first time in over ten years. It was a pretty crazy game which ended when I got kicked out for buying too many houses and having no money to pay rent.

But overall, it was a wonderful meet-up with my junior batch of hall-mates, most of whom just returned from exchange. Stories of near-robberies were exchanged, as well as comments on how some of us seemed to have grown in girth. I haven't seen these friends for more than a year since I moved out of hall two years ago and it was a very good meet-up. There was a very pleasant and easy-going camaraderie, forged from years of living together under one roof, going out for suppers and doing absolutely senseless things like ponding and block initiations. At the end of it all, it was the bonds of friendship that reallly made me feel at home.

Just yesterday, I was back in hall hanging around sihui's room while waiting for j yi to do up a simple dinner. I felt nostalgic about the times in hall from all the happy memories. Of RAG, Orientation, endless rounds of Counterstrike, CnC and DOTA, and weird suppers and block events. Many friendships were made; some faded away. But it's always a warm, fuzzy connection that I feel when I meet an old friend from hall. I'm glad to have experienced hall life while in NUS, and it was worth all the sacrifices made along the way.

I'm not really interested in anything right now.

I just wanna do my job properly and mind my own business and spend as much of my free time in as fruitful a manner as possible.

Somehow even that is getting so tough.